ZWConcepts

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Dear Diary

December16

(this is not my work but I think it is fabulous)

Taken from http://d22314.deviantart.com/art/Dear-Diary-146903451

Mistakes that we’ve made haunt us forever. They teach us lessons that we carry with us forever, like a bracelet of scars. These lessons, these mistakes, they make us better people, but they create darker secrets underneath the surface of us all.

I should have told you everything

Lies and plastic smiles cover what we really feel, and the horrible, unexplainable yet oh so human urges we feel are malignant thoughts that swim around in our head, looking for a way to escape. Cut yourself, heal yourself, let it out.

What I did, I can’t take that back. I never can, and I don’t blame you for hating me. I want you to know that I still love you, despite what happened.

We can never explain these feelings, emotions are beyond the grasp of the mind that feels them. Emotions aren’t controllable, and those that try fail. Stop feeling, stop hurting. Slash yourself hard enough, everything will become numb.

You meant everything to me, and I let you down. I won’t ever forgive myself, but please, don’t do anything you’ll regret. I know about the cutting, I’ve seen the scars. Please, and I mean it, don’t start it again.

So, dear diary, I’ve decided that this will be my last entry. I can’t take this anymore. I just can’t get the image of him with her out of my mind. I can’t accept reality, and my dreams are riddled with barbs, tearing at me even as I sleep. It will be painless, that’s for sure. I’ve been doing this long enough to know how to do it properly. One cut, and my eyes are closed forever. Peace, it’s just around the corner.

November 5th, 2009.

I want you to read this as soon as you get this. I don’t know how upset you are, but I don’t want you to hurt yourself. I regret what I’ve done, and I need you to know that. Listen to me, you deserve better, and you’ll find better. I’m only a stepping stone, someone to get over. You were more then that to me, though I doubt you believe that. Hate me forever, but get over me. I don’t deserve the time it takes crying over lost love.

November 6th, 2009.

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